2017/08/17

Titulus Regius

I couldn't find a good modern adaptation of this singularly unique, useful, and controversial text online, so I decided to make one. It seemed timely. The original is fairly readable, but spelling and grammar vary widely. The "rigorously modernized" text keeps the sense of the original, but not the highly repetitive and formalized language. It is a non-academic adaptation, intended for a casual reader. The original is well worth reading though. Also, if you aren't familiar with the famous Shakespeare play, or the history of Richard III, this essay might be a good place to start.

There is no gameable content in this post, but I will probably reference this text in future articles on laws, kings, schemes, parliaments, witchcraft, marriages, and people trying to claim legitimacy despite widespread unpopularity.

Rous Roll, Richard III and Family. John Rous, d.1492. Contemporary with Richard's life.

Heavily Abridged


To: Prince Richard
From: Parliament

Things used to be better. Then some lousy people ruled England and things were terrible.

King Edward the Third married two women and also ruined everything. Therefore his children are illegitimate.

Also the King's brother was a traitor. Therefore, his children are illegitimate too.

Prince Richard is the only person left. He's very nice. We therefore ask him to become king.

Also, since you people are ignorant, we are going to remind you that Parliament definitely has that power.
No complaining allowed. Prince Richard is now King Richard the Third. We are also making Prince Richard's son his heir.

Signed,

Prince Richard
Parliament

Full Text, Rigorously Modernized


To the High and Mighty Prince Richard, Duke of Gloucester.

Please read this petition of the Lords Spiritual and Temporal, and Commons of this Realm of England, and give your assent. Everyone would appreciate it.

In the past England was peaceful, prosperous, honorable, and tranquil. The Kings reigning followed the advice and counsel of certain Lords Spiritual and Temporal and other sensible people. They loved God, sought justice, and obeyed the law. The land prospered. England was loved by our charitable neighbors and feared by our malicious enemies. The land was honourably defended with great and glorious victories. Trade flourished, so that both merchants, artificers, and the poor prospered. No one knew poverty.

But then the rulers of this land began to follow the advice of insolent, vicious, and greedy people, and spurned the advice of good, virtuous, and prudent counselors. They delighted in adulation and flattery. The prosperity of the land decreased daily. Joy turned to misery; prosperity to adversity. The laws of God and man were broken, and the land fell into misery and desolation. We, Parliament, must correct this with all due haste.

Among other things, the late King Edward IV "married" - ungraciously and under false pretenses, as all England knows - Elizabeth, formerly the wife of Sir John Grey, and later called the Queen of England. In those times the order of the world was perverted. The laws of God and God's church, the laws of nature, and the laws, liberties, and customs of England - to which every Englishman is heir - were broken, subverted, and held in contempt. The land was ruled by whim and pleasure, fear and dread, with all laws broken and despised; all this caused murders, extortions, and oppressions, chiefly of the poor and helpless. No man was sure of his life, his land, his livelihood, or his wife, his daughter, his servant, and every good maiden and woman stood in dread to be ravished and befouled. And besides this, all Englishmen know of the discords, civil battles, and effusion of christian men's blood in that time. And also, we must consider that the "marriage" between King Edward and Elizabeth Grey was made with great presumption, without the knowledge or assent of the lords of the land, and also - as everyone knows - by sorcery and witchcraft committed by Elizabeth and her mother Jaquette, Duchess of Bedford. (If required, the case will be proved later, at a convenient time and place.) We must consider also that the "marriage" was made privately and secretly, without reading the banns, in a private chamber in an unconsecrated building, and not openly in the face of the church, after the law of God's church and the custom of the church of England. We must also consider that, before the "marriage" and a long time afterwards, King Edward was already married to Dame Elanor Butler, daughter of the old Earl of Shrewsbury.

Since these things are true, as we have said they are true, it follows that King Edward and Elizabeth lived together sinfully and in damnable adultery, against the law of God and of his church. It is therefore unsurprising that the sovereign ruler of the land, being of such an ungodly disposition, provoked the ire and indignation of God and caused the troubles we have listed above. Evidently, the children of such a king must be bastards, unable to claim any inheritance, by the laws and customs of England.

We must also consider that, in the 17th year of the reign of King Edward IV, the Three Estates of the Realm were assembled in a Parliament held at Westminster. By an act of that Parliament, George, Duke of Clarence, brother to the late King Edward, was convicted of  high treason. All of his children were disinherited and barred from any claim to the crown and royal dignity of the realm.

We also consider that you, Prince Richard, are the undoubted son and heir of the late Richard, Duke of York. At this time, considering the premises noted above, there is no other living person but you who may claim the crown and royal dignity by way of inheritance. We also consider that you were born in this land, and for that reason, as we see it,  you are more naturally inclined to the prosperity and common benefit of the realm. All Three Estates have certain knowledge of your birth and ancestry. We also consider your great wit, prudence, justice, princely courage, and memorable acts in diverse battles in the defense of the realm, and also the nobleness and excellence of  your birth and blood (as you are descended from the three most royal houses in Christendom: England, France, and Spain.)

Therefore, we, desiring peace, tranquility, and public good, and the restoration of the land to its previous state of honourable prosperity, and remembering your great prudence, justice, princely courage, and excellent virtue, have chosen you, high and mighty Prince, as our King and Sovereign Lord, etc. And we humbly desire, pray, and require your noble grace that, according to this election of the Three Estates, and by your true inheritance,  you will accept the crown and royal dignity. In case you do so, we promise to serve and assist your Highness as true and faithful subjects, and to live and die with you in this matter and in every other just quarrel. We would rather put our lives in peril and jeopardy of death than live in such thraldom and oppression as before, when we were oppressed and inured by extortions and new impositions against the laws of God and man, the liberty, old policy, and laws of the realm. May our Lord God, King of all Kings, by whose infinite goodness and eternal providence all things been governed in this world, lighten your soul, and grant you grace to do, in all matters, His will, to the common benefit of the realm. After great clouds, troubles, storms and tempests, the Son of Justice and of Grace may shine upon us, to the comfort and gladness of all true Englishmen.

The right, title, and estate of our sovereign lord King Richard III, is just and lawfully grounded upon the laws of God and of nature, and also upon the ancient laws and laudable customs of this realm. All people learned in the law and custom of the land agree.

Yet nevertheless, we must consider that most people in this land are not sufficiently learned in the aforesaid laws and customs. The truth and right of the matter may be hidden and not clearly known to all people, and thereby put in doubt. Experience has shown us that Parliament is of such authority, and the people of this land of such a disposition, that the declaration of any right or truth made by the Three Estates may quiet men's minds and remove all occasion for doubt and seditious language.

Therefore, at the request and by assent of the Three Estates of this Realm - the Lords Spiritual and Temporal and Commons - assembled in this present Parliament, by authority of the same, be it pronounced, decreed, and declared that our sovereign lord the King was, and is, undoubtedly the King of England, by right of consanguinity and inheritance, and by lawful election, consecration, and coronation. By our assent and authority, be it ordained, enacted and established that the crown and royal dignity of the realm, and the inheritance of the same, rest and abide in the person of the king during his life, and, after his decease, in his heirs. We also declare that the High and Excellent Prince Edward, son of the King, is his heir apparent, to succeed and to have the crown and royal dignity, to have them after the decease of our sovereign lord the King, and for this inheritance to pass to him and to his lawfully begotten heirs.


2017/08/14

OSR: Annulments, Divorces, and Secrets

Annulments seem to be a hot topic right now. He's a very rough summary of how to use annulments in your medieval-ish games. The notes are based on 10th-14th century France, England, Germany, and Italy, with some notes cribbed from Henry VIII (because he holds the all-time record for annulment chicanery, I believe. Post rivals in the comments.)
Also, just in case, this article has nothing to do with my personal beliefs on any of the topics listed. I hope that's obvious. I'm trying to present a gameable medieval worldview, not lecture people.


You Cannot Have A Square Circle

Divorce, as we know it now, was not an option in the medieval European worldview. To the church, marriage was a sacrament, even if the biblical realities of divorce said otherwise. They understood that it might be better for some married couples to live apart, but actually breaking a marriage would be an impossibility in terms, like un-baptizing a child.

However, the church recognized that marriages could be annulled. If I sell you a bridge I don't own, then the sale is void. If I purchase a horse that turns out to be a goat on stilts, I can claim my money back. An annulment says "We, the church, made a mistake in the paperwork. It turns out, for X reason, your marriage was illegal to start with. Since it couldn't have happened, we can rewind the clock and start over."

The married couple reverted to their previous legal status. Women did not become widows, and retained any property (from jewelry to provinces) that they owned before the marriage. 

Any children from an annulled marriage were still legitimate in every sense. Generally, the father retained legal custody over them, and they could not inherit their mother's property. 


Terms and Conditions

Some of the more interesting reasons a marriage could be annulled.
HENRY: You know what a mesnie is? It's a train, an entourage. It's made of soldiers, cooks and clerics, wagons, barrows, linen, treasure, chickens, butts of wine and spices. I've been all night making one.
ALAIS: What for?
HENRY: We're off to Rome to see the Pope.
ALAIS: He's excommunicated you again.
HENRY: He's going to set me free. I'm having Elanor annulled. The nation will be shocked to learn our marriage wasn't consummated. 
-The Lion in Winter, James Goldman. Elanor, by this point, had borne Henry many fractious children.

Consanguinity 

One of the most famous and useful reasons for annulment was consanguinity. Marriage within the fourth degree of consanguinity (or seventh in some periods) was forbidden. If a peasant unknowingly married their second cousin or something and lived happily ever after, nobody really cared. For noble families, whose bloodlines were publicized and scrutinized carefully, a Papal Dispensation was required. The Pope did not personally approve every single dispensation (he had people for that), but they were issued in his name, and he could very easily stall or expedite the process for political purposes.

Marrying near relatives who were not related to you by blood (affinity) was also forbidden. For example, a man could not marry his late brother's wife without dispensation.

Example: Elanor of Aquitaine's first marriage to Louis VII, King of France, was annulled on the grounds of consanguinity. The annulment was one of the greatest diplomatic blunders in an age of blunders. Elanor, her valuable province intact, immediately remarried Henry II, then Duke of Normandy, and later King of England and a great deal else besides. Incidentally, Elanor was even more closely related to Henry than she had been to Louis.
Side note: Wikipedia states that the marriage was annulled because Elanor failed to provide Louis with sons after fifteen years of marriage. Most historians I trust take a different view, and point out that Elanor's willful, spirited, even playful nature was frankly incompatible with Louis' dour, self-tormented, and monkish outlook on life... and the joys of the flesh. He had to be tricked into bed with her more than once (thought he Wikipedia article states the reverse. Oh well.)

And the quote given above probably didn't happen. Henry never did annul his marriage to Elanor; the result would have been a colossal disaster.


Consummation

A formal ceremony and recognition by the church were not all that a marriage required. Consummation - the physical act - was mandatory. If it could not be performed for one reason or another (illness, impotence, unwillingness, shocking ugliness, a long crusade away from home, or merely a hasty decision later reversed), the marriage could be annulled. The old laws of the Lombards gives the newlyweds a 2-year window to consummate the marriage, after which it is automatically annulled.

Generally, the church refused to annul marriages for this reason if the couple had children. Children imply that someone was getting busy, and if it wasn't the married couple, it was probably grounds for adultery.

Simulation of Consent

A medieval "shotgun wedding" could be annulled on the grounds that one or both parties were compelled into accepting the arrangement, provided evidence of threats or coercion could be presented. Not liking your partner, or fearing them, wasn't enough - there had to be actual threats, and you had to be willing to accept the consequences of telling the world about them.

Previous Marriages or Betrothals

Canon law on the subject changed regularly, but previous (non-annulled) marriages, or betrothals (seriously promising to marry someone) could be grounds for an annulment. Betrothals were a sort of holy contract, almost as serious as the marriage itself, with their own rituals, and in theory could not be broken easily.


Religious Objections

Both parties needed to be in good standing with the church (not excommunicated, unbaptized, or actively practicing heathen sorcery). They could not have taken holy orders. The priest performing the ceremony needed to be valid and properly appointed. All these issues could be made into grounds for annulment. If a bishop's appointment was disputed, it could be argued that a marriage he presided over was also invalid, although the chaos this caused made it more of a threat than an actual practice.

Adultery and Other Crimes

Annulment is a recognition that a marriage was never valid. Crimes within a valid marriage do not dissolve the marriage (including attempted murder, adultery, etc.), but may end with the death of one of the parties.

This could be politically inconvenient. A king could divorce his wife by accusing her of adultery (and fabricating evidence, if required), but adultery often carried the death penalty. Her vassals and family might rebel, he might be made to look like a cuckold and a fool, and the paternity of his children would instantly and forever be in doubt. Their legitimacy could remain, or they could become illegitimate, depending on the results of the court case.

The reverse case, where a wife accused a husband of being unfaithful, rarely occurred, although it could lead to honor-based disputes as the wife's family might consider it an insult.




Gameable Content

Because this is theoretically a gaming blog.

1. A local baron wants to annul his marriage on the grounds of consanguinity. A wealthy widow has recently come under his protection, and he needs to marry her as soon as possible. The PCs are hired to take his letter to the holy city by the fastest (and most dangerous) route and ensure the church grants the annulment, by any means necessary. Plot twist: the baron's wife's family objects, of course, and will probably be in hot pursuit with a letter of their own... and some good sharp swords.

2. While drunkenly carousing in a city, one of the PCs wakes up in a compromising position. They have been framed for adultery in a royal bedchamber. The PC will be tried the next morning and executed, along with the queen, in one week. The king's men thought they'd found the perfect stooge. However:

1. The PC is part of a noble family who will furiously object to the hasty trial. The king has created a diplomatic fracas without intending to, and unraveling it may plunge his kingdom into war.
2. The PC escapes (of course) and a massive conspiracy is implicated. Dozens of nobles will die, or enact plots of their own. Every faction claims the PC for a martyr, an agent, or a leader.
3. The king's men messed up; the PC is of an incompatible gender or position in society for the case to be plausible. The king will be a laughingstock unless a switch is performed.
4. The entire case is so blatantly unjust, and the king so utterly repugnant, that rebellion and treason are morally justified. The PCs will take care of the rest. Chaos ensues. The queen takes the throne as regent for her infant son and promptly loses half the kingdom.
5. The queen falls in love with the PC while in prison and writes long romantic songs about the two of them dying together. If the PC is executed, their legend of betrayal, imprisonment, and love will become immortal.
6. Turns out, it was all a bizarre test of loyalty or something. The king wanted to see what would happen. The trial is called off. The PC is released or given a special mission, having "proved themselves" in an unspecified way. Or the queen is revealed to be a serpent-man infiltrator in disguise, and the PC is lauded as a hero. Or the queen is revealed to be the king in disguise, and the PC is paid a truly enormous bribe to never speak of their deeply confusing experience.
3. The PCs are asked by a noble lady to break into a monastery and plant a sealed scroll in the archives. The seal is easy to open. The scroll reveals that the king's brother, the noble lady's husband, took holy orders at the monastery (from a now-deceased abbot). Since he never renounced his vows, the marriage is void. One week after they complete their mission, all hell breaks loose in the kingdom. Plot twist: the scroll isn't a forgery. The noble lady stole it back from her husband.

4. The PCs are asked to intimidate a newly appointed bishop into admitting to a long list of past crimes, from sodomy to trading horses without a license. The bishop just married two people against the consent of their families (allowable, but foolish), and needs to be deposed in a way that also annuls the marriage. If he admits he was never ordained, the marriage will be annulled. Plot twist: the newlyweds have also paid the PCs to protect the bishop or smuggle him to safety.

5. While raiding an ancient tomb, the PCs find a holy book from the very dawn of the church that clearly states conditions for divorce. It is signed by irrefutable authorities. It is an invaluable relic, a priceless artifact, and it will probably split the church in half. Sensible people will want to burn it. Plot twist: demons put it there for fun.

6. The PCs are contacted by a wealthy noble. He is having trouble consummating his marriage. By local custom, he has two years to do his duty, and his wife (and her family) are growing impatient. If the PCs can help, they will be well rewarded, both financially and politically. The PCs are sent to find:
1. A rare herb that only grows in an implausibly dangerous forest.
2. The horn of a mythical animal.
3. Fermented meat from a rare species of crab.
4. A mind-wizard capable of forcing the body into compliance with the mind's desires.
5. An extra-strength love potion, transported in a lead-lined cask and stored on ice. Beware the fumes.
6. A very wise old woman who is legendary for treating such cases with soothing words and therapy. 

And the real reason he can't fulfill his vows:

1. Young, inexperienced, neurotic. Medieval Woody Allen on a bad day. It's not hopeless, but he's likely to botch any plan in hilarious ways.
2. Bats for the other team. He makes actual Richard the Lionheart look like legendary Richard the Lionheart. In short, it's hopeless. The PCs may need to get inventive.
3. Hideous. Either he's ugly and knows it, or his wife is, or they both are. It's less of a crisis of looks and more a crisis of self-image. An Elf Wizard might be able to help.
4. Embarrassing Injury. The noble stepped behind a horse in his youth and, as a result, was slightly mangled. He really needs a powerful restoration spell or healing potion. The mission is their cover.
5. Total ignorance. They are both utterly oblivious as to the actions required, and far too pure-minded and embarrassed to ask their families. The PCs, as outsiders and disreputable people, might be safe to ask... but not directly. The mission is just an excuse to talk with them.
6. It's all a clever ploy to marry his true love. All he needs to do is stall for a few more weeks. The PCs will distract his wife's family.



Secret Annulments and Secret Marriages


Didn't exist.*

*Medieval life, especially among the nobility, was public. Everything a powerful noble did or said was part of the public sphere. This could lead to trouble, but it was also vitally important. Events needed to be witnessed. If history is all the things that are memorable, then you want all your vassals and friends to remember things that you did, commanded, and said. If an event wasn't memorable then it didn't happen.


So let's say a king wants to secretly annul his marriage. He could, in theory, write a secret letter to the Pope. If the Pope was sufficiently pliable, a secret annulment could be sent back, although it would take some skill to sneak through the papal bureaucracy.

Then the king wishes to secretly marry another woman. In a hidden chapel, with the minimum number of witnesses (who are sworn to silence), the ceremony is performed.

What's changed? Absolutely nothing, in the eyes of the world. But the moment it's publicized - and it would have to be, to gain any benefit from it - all hell is going to break loose.

First, the moment the king's first marriage was annulled, his former wife's property reverted back to her. In some areas, she regained independent legal status. In others, she passed back into the care of her family. In either case, the king has no claim to anything she owned before the marriage, from jewelry to provinces to levied armies from those provinces. Formerly, the king held them legally, but after the secret annulment, his hold on them was illegal... and a damn good cause for war.

Second, both parties had to consent to an annulment, so the king had to also inform his wife. If she objected, he could force her to agree one way or another, but she could inform her followers and family and start a public dispute, dragging the whole thing into the open. If she agreed to the annulment, and agreed to keep it secret, then she would betray her family and her property (by allowing the king to hold it when he had no right to it) and give up her children into the king's custody.

Third, the annulment doesn't change the order of succession. Any children are still legitimate. Typically, this is a good thing... but it's worth noting.

Fourth, the annulment and marriage are both suspicious and may be declared invalid or forgeries. Doing things secretly in the medieval world is seen as a kind of crime.

Fifth, the king's new wife's family or vassals may object to her marriage. The seriousness of their objections will vary case to case. If the woman was in the legal care of her family, then the marriage is illegal and is instantly annulled - she can't sign in her own right, but has to be given away. If the woman was in the legal care of the king (in some systems, a widow or a woman with no family could appeal directly to the king for protection), or did not have a legal guardian, then there's no issue.

Sixth, the king can't claim his new wife's property, wealth, or vassals without publicizing her marriage.

Seventh, any children he has by his new wife will be considered illegitimate. Even if he publicized the marriage after the fact, the children will be seen as suspicious. Rival claimants - and there are always rival claimants - will have a fantastic excuse to change the order of succession.

The entire point of a medieval wedding is to get everyone to recognize the bond, the alliance, the transfer of title and land, and the legitimacy of any children. Get married in secret, sure, but publicize it ASAP later. If you die from a surfeit of lampreys, palfreys, hammers, etc. before you publicize it, then, for all intents and purposes, it didn't happen, even if someone did write it down in a book.

2017/08/12

OSR: Tomb of the Serpent Kings 3.0

Version 3 of my "tutorial" dungeon is up.This update isn't as significant as the jump from 1.0 to 2.0, but it's still important. The entire document was edited and reformatted by the incredibly helpful David Shugars (nthdecree.blogspot.com). Go check out his stuff! Overall, I'd say the dungeon is now more readable and easy to use in a hundred small but vital ways.

And, once again, it's still free!

Tomb of the Serpent Kings v3.0 PDF

New on the left, old on the right
Or bookmark the Megapost for quick reference in the future. It also explains what the heck is going on, if you're new here.

2017/08/08

What I Read On My Vacation

I like taking holidays to isolated, internet-free areas and reading a book a day. Speed-reading is handy. There are always too many good books to read.

This post is not directly related to gaming, but I hope there's interesting stuff in it anyway. It's a glimpse of what I do for fun, if left to my own devices.

Through the medium of books, we are shown and taught the way of repentance, for we gain wisodm and continence from the written word. Books are like rivers that water the whole earth; they are the springs of wisdom. For books have an immeasurable depth; by them we are consoled in sorrow.
-Primary Chronicle, Medieval Russia's Epics, Chronicles, and Tales

Just stop lying you fucking fool. Stop making shit up...Are we better off that you lied? What if you had just related what you saw written down, and what your friend told you, and whatever your other sources were and had just given us that, straight. Would we know more? We would have had the history of a story and instead we got the story of our history.
-Patrick Stuart, reviewing The History of the Kings of Britain by Geoffrey of Monmouth

Book 1: Medieval Culture and Society

David Herlihy
410 pages
Published by: Harper Torchbooks

This book is a collection of translated source texts on all aspects of medieval life. I own better (or better commented) translations of some of the texts, but there were a few others, particularly the town charters, that were worth picking up. My copy is full of notes saying "write blog post on this" or "summarize this".

Recommendation: it's interesting, but not useful to most people. If you're vaguely interested in the middle ages, it's great diverse holiday reading.


Ivan the Terrible Killing His Son, Ilya Repin


Book 2: Medieval Russia's Epics, Chronicles, and Tales

Serge A Zenkovsky
524 pages
Published by: Penguin

Another collection of texts, but this time, there are long explanatory essays attached to each text and to each section. I'm delighted that I found this book, as I was almost completely ignorant of some of the areas it covers. Norwich's "Byzantium" series covered some of the topics, but from a very different perspective. He neglected to mention the legend of Oleg's land-based naval attack on Constantinople, for example. The monastic tales are fascinating. The poetry seems to be well translated (even if there are a few grammatical oddities in the essays). 

Plus, there are lovely passages, such as this one, where an ailing Tsar reminds his children of his past exploits (and rolls on the Death and Dismemberment Table)
Two buffaloes tossed me and my horse on their horns; a stag once gored me;  one moose stamped on me, and another tossed me with his antlers; a boar once tore my sword from my thigh; a bear on one occasion bit my knee; and another wild beast jumped on my hip and threw my horse with me. But Got preserved me unharmed. I fell many times from my horse, fractured my skull twice, and in  my youth injured my arms and legs when I did not reck of my life or spare my head.
-Vladimir Monomakh, Instructions to His Children
I'm also going to write a post (at some point) on the Battle of the Kalka River, the Mongols, and what an invasion feels like, and how to use it in an RPG.

I also want to write a post on Afansy Nikitin's journey. Patrick Stuart has already reviewed the story of an arab sent as an ambassador to the Bulgars. This is almost the opposite; Afansy is just a normal Russian trader who got robbed, got lost, and spent years wandering the world. His travelogue is palpably tragic and distressed, but it's also full of useful gameable ideas. You can download a translation here, but the translation in Medieval Russia keeps in all the... interesting bits. The linked version is bowdlerized.


Recommendation: worth reading if you're interested in history. A fantastic reference volume.

Book 3: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Alan Moore & Kevin O'Niell

Graphic novel, page count not given
Published by: Vertigo

I wanted to reread the book, particularly Hyde's sections, in the context of this essay. Conclusions: still not sure. Probably best to move on.



Members of the Permanent Court of Arbitration, established at The Hague in 1899

Book 4: The Proud Tower 

Barbara W. Tuchman
588 pages
Published by: Ballantine Books

If you've been following this blog for a while, you'll know I'm a huge fan of Tuchman's work. This book is part of her WWI series, and, as expected, it's astonishingly good. It's a collection of essays, but the essays are so skillfully linked that the seams are invisible. It's pure high-octane brain fuel.

And my god, her use of quotations. I never get the sense that she's quoting something out of context. Every time I dig into the source texts, I find that she's chosen the perfect line to reflect the sentiment or intent of the original piece. Nobody's words are twisted to fit her narrative. No one is quoted for effect. It's beautiful. Read Tuchman for study like you'd read Dickens for character.


Recommendation: Read this book. If you're at a used book store and you see something written by Tuchman, buy it, and I promise you'll enjoy it, even if history "isn't your thing."


Selections from my notes on The Proud Tower:
"Tuchman often writes paragraphs that start with a sudden, explosive declaration, then jump backwards to fill in the background. The initial declaration draws you in and makes you want to race ahead to find out how such a thing could happen. It's a great device, and it's used sparingly, so it doesn't feel click-bait-y."
"Tuchman's descriptions: a physical sketch, and a few anectotes or quotes to establish character
Gibbon's descriptions: a very loose physical sketch, and a moral judgement."

While reading her chapter on Germany and Strauss, I scribbled "Can we learn more about an era by studying the works that are popular only during that era but are forgotten afterwards than by studying works that are popular in that era and afterwards (timeless classics)? Wagner vs his imitators." And I'm not sure where I want to go with that thought.


"Extraordinary that Kipling could write the Recessional in 1897 and The Gods of the Copybook Headings in 1919 but somehow also write The White Man's Burden in 1899." I then added, six days later, "fucking poets" in the margin.

"Churchill said*, 'democracy is the worst form of government except for all those other forms that have been tried,' but reading about the 'democracy' that first elected him, I'm not sure he really has the authority to claim a damn thing about democracy."

*he technically didn't, but I didn't remember that while writing my notes.

And then, in what appears to be a drunken scrawl, "Kaiser Wilhelm II on Twitter, by god!"

Book 5: 1066 and All That

W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman 
116 pages
Published by: Folio Society (yeah, I got a fancy version!)

Hilarious, of course. The easiest way to test your knowledge of history is to read 1066 and see if you get all the jokes in the relevant section.

But it also has good worldbuilding advice. History is the bits of Stuff that Happened that are Memorable. History happens in Waves. Everything and everyone Memorable is either Good, Bad, or Experimental. Apply these principles to your setting.

Recommendation: excellent if you're from the UK, pretty funny if you're from the Commonwealth and have a background in history, nearly incomprehensible elsewhere.



Book 6: Eyrbyggja Saga

Herman Palsson & Paul Edwards
176 pages
Published by: Penguin

Late medieval Icelandic fiction, but damn good stuff. Locations are real, situations and people probably aren't. Ghosts, feuds, fights, cunning schemes, character development, and story hooks all over the place. The main actions of the saga take place in ~3 6-mile hexes.

Recommendation: if you like modern historical fiction, you'll really like this. If you're doing any kind of community building in your RPGs, this book is full of useful content and situations. The translation is very clear and very readable.

Book 7: The Hero with a Thousand Faces

Joseph Campbell
389 pages
Published by: Princeton University Press

I bought this book thinking it would be a bridge between Frazer and Lucas. It wasn't.

Frazer writes clearly, with a hint of dry wit and a few touches of sentimentality. Campbell writes like a stage magician. He huffs and puffs and throws words around. He uses all the worst tropes of his Freud-addled age. He quotes to disguise gaps in his theory. He abridges myths, drops inconvenient details, skips entire sections, and then handwaves with "as you can see" and "this is just one example" and other tricks of the huckster-historian's trade.


I mean, is it really surprising that classically-trained English and American mythologists, reading translations and glosses prepared by other classically-trained English and American mythologists, find overlapping segments of Greek myths everywhere? Are these present in the text, or in the translators?


I got so fed up that, to keep myself interested, I started translating the myths from
overwrought Freudian blather into overwrought Marxian blather. I'm happy to report that I've discovered just as much "deep hidden meaning" by this method as Campbell ever found by using Jung and Freud. "The golden ball represents Capital, while the 'repulsive' frog is, of course, the oppressed but virtuous worker..."

Recommendation: skip it. If you want comparative mythology and don't care about accuracy, read the Golden Bough. If you care, read a modern work on the subject. If you want to learn about Star Wars, read the article I linked to above. This one's going back to the bookstore ASAP.

Book 7: Elanor of Aquitaine

Demond Seward
264 pages
Publisher: Pegasus

I love reading books about one of my favorite eras. Seward does a decent job, but he has a few flaws. He starts each chapter with a quote from an unrelated source or two (Anthony and Cleopatra, etc.) that is semi-related to what he considers Elanor's character to be. It's irritating. Don't quote other people out of context to make a point about a completely unrelated event. It cheapens the book and removes any chance of the author remaining neutral. Seward is also critical of some sources but blindly follows others, even when they are dubious and should be treated with more caution.

Nevertheless, the book is a good introduction to the era. I'd watch The Lion in Winter first.


Selections from my notes on Elanor of Aquitaine:

"Lots of good material on illegal castle building."

"Seward is firmly on the side of Richard I being a homosexual, and actually backs it up with proof and quotes... but he was writing in '78, and his views come across as a bit limited these days. Still, good proof that you can play whatever character you want if you're either very rich and powerful or very poor and completely powerless."

"There's also evidence (which Seward, once again, treats as absolute fact) that Richard I died as a result of a hapless farmer finding a hoard of gold in the ground. The gold got confiscated immediately by the farmer's lord, and then by the local count, but the count refused to give it to Richard. Richard besieged his castle, caught a crossbow bolt in the neck, and died. More evidence I was right on how Taxes should work."




 Still Reading

-Ryuutama (it's good!)
-The Nibelungenlied (it's not Wagner, and I'd write a comparative essay, but literally thousands of people have got there first. Instead, listen to Anna Russel.

-The Jew in the Medieval World, Jacom Rader Marcus (haven't started)


2017/07/26

OSR: Tomb of the Serpent Kings 2.0


Version 2 of my "tutorial" dungeon is up. It's got art by Scrap Princess! It's got a proper map! It's got a quick reference sheet, page numbers, and better editing!

And it's still free!

Tomb of the Serpent Kings v.2.0 PDF


Or bookmark the Megapost for quick reference in the future. It also explains what the heck is going on, if you're new here. 


2017/07/22

OSR: The Flame Pomerium (How to Run a Giant Mecha OSR Game)

Back in this post, I proposed that giant mecha fights could be easily run in most D&D-like games without changing any of the rules. All you need to do is change the scale.

Mortal Scale: the usual human scale.
Bulwark Scale: the giant mecha scale. 50x larger, but none of the values change.


I then tested the theory on the GLOG, on Lamentations of the Flame Princess, and on D&D 5th Edition, with varying degrees of success.

Since the mechanical side of things seems to be sorted out, here are my system-less notes on actually running a game using this method.

Group Structure

1. One Bulwark, Multiple PCs
The classic "starship" layout. One PC drives, one PC operates the guns, etc.
Pros: group cohesion, investment in common welfare.
Cons: "we've already fired the wand-cannon so you get to do nothing for the rest of the fight."

2. Multiple Mechas, One Per PC
The classic "group of high school kids save the world in an animated TV show" layout.
Pros: customized mechas, more feel of control, no one is left "idle".
Cons: less group cohesion, multiple mechas can solve problems more easily, more repair time.

3. Multiple Mechas, One Per PC, NPC crew
The classic "starship" layout, but with NPCs in most roles.
Pros: customized mechas, team uniforms, rivalries, and internal politics
Cons: more for the GM to track, traits can be diluted or flanderized by the squad structure

I prefer Option 3. For the rest of this post, I'm going to assume that's the default.

Scale and Features

-Bulwarks are mostly humanoid.
-In my mind, they are huge. 200-300' tall. Taller than a cathedral, taller than the Colossus of Rhodes. You can scale them up or down, and adjust the 50x conversion factor as needed.
-The things they were built to fight are bigger.
-Bulwark combat rounds are 1:1 with mortal combat rounds if Bulwarks in your game are between Evangelion speed and Pacific Rim speed. If your Bulwarks are slow and ponderous, a 1:6 or 1:10 ratio would also work.
 


Animation Budget vs Writing Budget

A lot of movies or shows with "giant robots fight things" start off in the same way. 
1. Evil monsters show up
2. Giant robots are built, fight them
3. More evil monster show up
4. More fights
5. Aaaaand then... beach episode? High school drama? Turns out it was all a dream? The very nature of reality is falling apart? The giant robot is powered by your mother or mashed kittens or, I don't know, the toenail clippings of a god? Things go sideways.

People very quickly figured out that, while your audience might say they want to watch a show about giant robot fights, you can only produce so much content before the well runs dry. Spectacle fights get kind of... boring after a while. Is anyone actually watching the fight choreography in most Marvel films these days? How much of professional wrestling, a genre ostensibly all about fighting, is fluff, backstory, drama, and entrance music?

The 40k Deathwatch RPG has this problem. The core loop is "Go on Missions -> Fight Aliens -> Spend Renown -> Get Better Items -> Go On More Difficult Missions". It's very difficult to do a highly skill-based combat system in an RPG without bogging down the entire game in rules. There are video games that are entirely about fighting and they work just fine, but in a tabletop RPG, you need something else. Deathwatch could have had an series of books to help you roleplay genetically-altered perpetual child-soldiers with god complexes and mythical backstories, but instead, more guns, more monsters, and more combat.

Spend your descriptive powers on the giant mecha fights, but spend your story-crafting, plot-hook-baiting, motivation-steering cunning on the human-scale plot.
The Old God of the Northern Mountains, Bjarke Pedersen

Bulwark-Scale Descriptions

Focus on the weight and scale.

Walking Events
1. A herd of sheep, in a blind panic, smashes a fence and flees across a broad plain, while their shepherd stands awestruck.
2. A flock of birds flutters past at knee-height.
3. Each step punches a pond into existence.
4. A row of trees bends next to your path, their roots shaken at your step.
5. You cross a stream in a single step, the wooden bridge creaking as you compress one of the banks.
6. Soil from your foot rains down with a gentle hiss, coating the land behind you.
7. A low cloud collides with your Bulkwark's shoulder and passes by, undamaged.
8. Ripples spread in the grass before you.
9. Flocks of ravens, drawn to your step, begin to congregate, hoping for a feast.
10. Your step causes a small landslide on a nearby hill or mountain.

Villages and Towns
1. Put shutters on their windows and sharpened logs all around their walls.
2. The old town abandoned; the new one buried into a rocky hillside.
3. Houses on carts, retreating towards the city.
4. A false-town, filled with meat and grain, to draw away the Great Beasts.
5. A festival of thanksgiving as you pass. Garlands of flowers wrapped around your feet.
6. Waving banners, in time to the heartbeat-step of your progress.
7. Music, played as loudly as possible, from the rooftops.
8. The bells in the church tower ring with each step, and tiles fall from the roof.
9. On a nearby hill, villagers build an effigy from sticks and cloth.
10. An open-air church service as you pass, the priest's arms waving in the air.

Combat
Every hit that deals 6 or more damage knocks a Bulwark-scale combatant 250' backwards, sideways, into the air, etc. This doesn't deal any extra damage, but it does allow for truly gigantic fights, positional play, and a chance to run away.

You Hit It
1. The attack drives the Great Beast to the ground. You lean over, pummeling its back with your weapon.
2. Your blow sends the creature flying through the air. An entire forest vanishes where it lands. It rises, shedding trees and roots, picking entire oaks from its flesh like splinters.
3. You stagger forward, pushing your shoulder into the Beast, then shove it backwards. Its claws for purchase in the soil, tearing new furrows in the fields.
4. You blow carries past the Beast and strikes the river. For a moment, the river's flow is stopped as waves travel in both directions.
5. One strike turns the Beast to your left, but the second strike knocks it to the right, sending it tumbling into a nearby hill.
6. You turn the Beast's attack against it, allowing its charge to glance off you and carry it, scrambling and flailing, into the ground.

It Hits You
1. You fly backwards, entirely off the ground for a few moments, but you land on your feet. You dig your weapon into the ground for balance, crushing a small barn.
2. You are knocked to your knees, sending a shockwave through the fields.
3. The blow spins you halfway around. You nearly lose hold of your weapon as it digs a furrow into the ground.
4. The Beast's charge knocks you flat on your back, an entire field away from where you were standing. It circles, waiting for you to rise before striking again.
5. You plant your foot, but the stone wall beneath your feet crumbles. You slip, and the Beast, seeing an opportunity, knocks you backwards.
6. You demolish an entire windmill or castle as you fall.


A 250' grid over real terrain.

NPC Crew

Generate these guys like standard hirelings, but alter them to suit the game and the Bulwark. Lean heavily on tropes. Mix and match as needed. Your Bulwark might have a crew of 10 or more, or it might be operated by a sole pilot. At the very least, even if your Bulwark is solo-crewed, you'll have a support staff at base. 3 NPCs per PC seems like a sensible ratio.

If the PC is young and bright-eyed:
1. A grizzled veteran, offers sage advice, dies tragically at a really inconvenient time.
2. A young but oblivious love interest, who only has eyes for...
3. A rival to the PC (better looking, richer, nicer teeth, smoother) but who is also (at face value) friendly. Not a bully, but just as infuriating.
4. A childhood friend
If the PC is old and experienced:
1. A young helper who reminds them of the good old days. Might die tragically. Will nearly die tragically a lot.
2. An old flame
3, A survivor from the War
4. A rascally dog

If the PC is morally ambiguous:
1. An allied rake to tempt them down the path of depravity. Meets a sticky but morally enlightening end by their own incompetence or something.
2. A moral guardian sent by a higher power, strict but caring, exposes flaws the PC never knew they had
3. A robustly innocent person, too dense to be tricked into anything, too good-hearted to torment
4. A rascally urchin

If the PC is morally upright:
1. A rebellious youth looking for a mentor
3. A real snake-in-the-grass spy-type character, whose motivations are always suspected, but who never acts overtly against the PC
3. A louche but incredibly competent assistant
4. Someone who is always getting up to bedroom hi-jinks with other peoples spouses, daughters, farm animals, etc. 

If the PC is from Foreign Parts or is another kind of outsider:
1. Someone else from Foreign Parts, on another PC's team, but from a rival tribe/family/clan/religious sect.
2. A genial oaf who represents the worst of local manner, or a fop who serves the same role
3. An obvious spy from the Monarch, here to ensure the PC stays in line
4. A local unwillingly assigned to the role of assistant and tour guide who gradually warms to the PC

If the PC is from Around Here:
1. A disreputable character from Foreign Parts, the only one capable of operating the Gnosis Engine or the Thaumaturgic Ray
2. A younger sibling who looks up to the PC
3. A parent who worked on the Bulwark and knows its secret inner mechanisms
4. A spy from another nation, pretending to be a spy from this nation

Stranger Structures:
1. The PC's Bulwark is operated and maintained entirely by one rambunctious family. Possibly all women; the men died in the War.
2. The Bulwark is crewed by a group of wizarding students. The PC has been elected Dean-Captain. The students are, as usual, drunk, rambunctious, lecherous, idiotic, and high-spirited.
3. A bunch of cloned Elves. Triplets or more. Weird, androgynous, etc.
4. The Bulwark is a living creature, either grown from the PC's flesh, or fused with their body.
5. The Bulwark is a chaotic, strung-together thing, crewed by pirates and reprobates.
6. Intelligent golems maintain the Bulwark. They have personalities and goals.


Bulwark-Scale NPCs

Too weird to adapt to player characters, too cool not to include.
1. Dungeon Bulwark. Stats as a Lich. All shall cower! All shall fear! Its eyes are Beholders. Its breath, a swarm of stirges! Its bones are tombstones, its muscles are chains! Its pilot is an insane but patriotic lich.
2. Dragon Ally. Stats as an iguana or crocodile that can fly, with a 1d6 breath weapon.
3. Gigantic Tentacle Monster from the Local Lake. A legend. Stats as a thrown poisoned dagger. Toss it at the approaching Great Beast.
4. Giant Golem. No need for those annoying Bulwark pilots now! The giant golem will be completely obedient, free of fear and... oh no! It's loose! How could we have foreseen this?
5. The Mountain That Walks. Stats as an Earth Elemental, property damage as a meteor strike. Changes geography forever.
6. Serpents of the Earth. Vast primordial snakes. Stats as snakes. They're kind of cute from way up here. Not so much at ground level.
Bamiyan Buddha, Afghanistan. Destroyed 2001.

Extra Ideas

Didn't fit anywhere else.

1. A shadow council directs the Bulwarks. Masked representatives of 10 different nations, unable to unite publicly.
2. Hangars carved into a mountainside. Entire villages surround each Bulwark.
3. A magic chainsword. Each tooth is a mortal-scale magic weapon.
4. Blinded pilgrims, hauling a spells-croll canister across the desert, ready to load its deadly contents into a Bulwark.
5. A gatling wand-cannon, each wand carved from a wizard-treant.
6. Allied rocs act as scouts, carrying war-boats full of cartographers.


Battle Ideas

1. Something to Protect (a village, a town, a city, a caravan, a downed Bulwark)
2. Surprise! There Are Two Of Them (ambush from above or below, a trap)
3. A Familiar Enemy With A New Twist (it grows wings or shoots lasers or regenerates)
4. Set Piece Fight! (a flowing river, a collapsing canyon, an ancient megastructure)
5. Emergency Deployment (no time for the usual prep work. And also, one of your weapons is missing, your usual crew is unavailable, or your arm still hasn't been reattached)
6. Bulwark vs Bulwark (they corrupted one of your NPC allies, raised one from the dead, or you need to show off your moves to get a hot date).
Giant 4, Chenthooran Nambiarooran

Secret Metaplot and Endgame Ideas

Why are Great Beasts crawling out of the sea, out of caves, out of the sky? These types of stories always have a convoluted metaplot.

1. A secret portal between dimensions or planes. Close it, or cross over and find out who is behind this. Then punch them with your giant mecha.
2. It really is the Apocalypse. The Gods are angry at your defiance. Climb into heaven and kick them to the curb.
3. The Folly of Man. Some ancient wizard, potions of giant growth, forbidden magic, etc, etc. Turns out the people who you report to supported him as well. It's all a cover up! Find out the truth and reveal their treachery to the people.
4. Hell wants to take over the world. It's like the Apocalypse, except the Gods are on your side. Descend into Hell and kick Satan in the goolies.
5. It's all allegorical. The world is already in Hell or something. Maybe this is training for the real war in Heaven? Maybe it's a way of shriving your sins?
6. There a really evil wizard out there. He's just a really bad dude. Nothing complicated, go chop off his head. Oh wait, he's already dead or something, or immortal, or the step needed to kill him are very obscure. There might be a prophecy.



Ideas for Feature Equivalents




Mortal Scale Bulwark Scale
Boarding Actions Disease Rules
Pit Trap Canyon covered in a tarp, sinkhole
Dart Trap Giants with flaming bows and arrows
Poison Gas Trap Underground coal fire, huge urns
Potion of Healing Liquefied mana burst


Great Beasts

Here are 4 particularly horrifying Great Beasts. Each one is an apocalypse.


Promotional Image, the BFG

1. The Wretched

Stats: as Goblins
200' tall, but they do not walk like men. They crawl on long fingers and toes, pressed low to the ground, scuttling around hills. They only attack at night. Pale white fingers with black nails flitting by your window, peeling the roof from your stables to eat your horses. Red staring eyes the size of a hut staring, unblinking, through the rafters. The smell is horrifying, but they use the wind to conceal their approach. If you can smell them, it is too late. Somehow, they move silently.

Their weapons are scavenged from fallen Bulwarks.

They own the hills. Captive villages toil to raise flocks for their consumption. They take hostages, perform feints, set traps. They are cunning, these giants, these wretched things. Cunning but always hungry. If you see one, ten more wait. They are a locust plague.


Helix Spitzer, NASA

2. The Tyrant

Stats: as a Beholder
A fallen moon. A corrupt sun. A 250' diameter sphere of scales that eat light. So dark it makes a mockery of midnight. And then the stars appear: ten stars on ten stalks the size of ancient trees, waving slowly. There is a central eye, but it is closed, for now. It only opens to bring utter and final death to its target: a city, a nation, a group of Bulwarks. A world. There is a mouth full of black teeth, carved with invisible runes, sharpened by invisible spells. You will not see the mouth until it is too late.

Every hour after the Tyrant is sighted on the horizon, one of the effects below occurs, in order. Each hour, a new eye-star ignites. Each time the Tyrant is reduced to 1/2, 1/4, and 1/10 its starting HP, there is a 50% chance it will activate the next ability listed ahead of schedule.

1. Pacify. No humans within 750', unless actively protected by magical shielding (such as a Bulwark) can take any hostile action against the Tyrant. Instead, they feel compelled to worship it in calm, unfocused rites. Many blind themselves, the better to see the transcendant darkness of their new master.
2. Reverence. As Pacify, except the effect now applies to all animals, beasts, and lesser monsters. They bow down before the Tyrant. The range slowly spreads to 2000'.
3. Rest. The light from this eye is dim, but flares like a lighthouse if the Tyrant is threatened. It is a Bulwark-scale sleep spell, with a single target. 1000' range.
4. Control. Bulwark-scale telekinesis. 6.5 tons of matter at once. As the Tyrant moves, it smashes villages, uproots forests, dams rivers, topples windmills. The force-pressure of the effect is always visible as a moving crater, like a pen pressing into a map and leaving a furrow. It orbits the Tyrant in winding patterns, like a child idly dragging a stick through an anthill. 1000' range.
5. Fear. A stabbing flicker of light. On the Bulwark-scale, a normal fear effect. On the mortal scale, anyone weak-willed must hide from the light, or give in to the siren song of the Tyrant and begin to worship it. Riots. Gibbering panic. The reign of Saturn. Range is line of sight - and at a great distance, at night, it might be mistaken for just another star, low to the horizon.
6. Slow. The air thickens in the light of the seventh eye-star. Bulwark-scale creatures are affected as the slow spell, but can Save each round. On the mortal scale, there is no Save. You move underwater, hideously slow, trapped in amber, and prey to the other lights. 2000' range, radiating in all directions.
7. Lesions. A needle of light, thin like a laser, but deadly and precise. Reaches down and pops people one by one, sliding white-glass beads along its string of light and cracking them open. Roves, searching for the most fearful and isolated. Against a Bulwark-scale target, cause serious wounds. 2500' range. The opening salvo.
8.  Death. A brilliant white beam, solid like a bar of iron. A death ray to Bulwark-scale creatures. To anything smaller, it's just death, simple, absolute, and unavoidable. Rivers stop flowing. Fires go out.
9. Petrify. A sweeping spotlight of death. Grass, flesh, wood - all solidfy into spongy grey stone instantly. Ash flakes through the air. Worshipers are petrified where they stand. Bulwark-scale creatures get usual saves against this flesh to stone ray. Mortal-scale creatures are not so lucky. 1500' range.
10. Immolate. A second white spotlight, racing after the first, flickering on and off. Bulwark-scale disintegrate. Village evaporate. Hills are planed flat. The ash cloud becomes a hurricane, whipped by the light of the Tyrant. 1000' range.
11. Apocalypse Ray. The central eye opens wide and floods the world with light. 7000' range. A mile-long beam of pure destruction. Matter, being tied up in magic to some extent, simple ceases to exist. Grey, dull stone might remain, but worked stone, soil, flesh, and air evaporate into nothingness. The Tyrant sweeps the beam from side to side, leveling mountains. Bulwarks and other immensely magical creatures treat this as an anti-magic ray, but also require a secondary save not to die.
Soul of Innistrad, MTG

3. Corpseworm

Stats: as a zombie
200' long but 200' high, a bent, hunched figure. A mass grave, raised from the dead, fused into one will and one purpose. A tangle of shipwrecks. A mortuary-construct with temple eyes. It lurches, slowly, dropping smaller corpses. The entire thing is a dungeon, and it has a heart you can kill.


Threshold of the Gods, Sam White

4. Raised Angel

Stats: as a Wight
A dark mirror of a bulwark. Celestial armor, pitted with metorite strikes. A flaming sword that went out eons ago, now just drips with the raw absence of fire. Immortal flesh, raised from the dead, sent to blight the living. Its touch poisons farmland, freezes rivers, cracks trees. The winds flee before it, carrying storms. Apocalypse cults worship it as their deliverance, or spring up in its wake.